Girls, revisited

Just in case you were unclear about gender specific standards of personal appearance, grooming and hygeine:

Me: Tell Mrs. B-----, what are boys called who have long hair?

L---: Girls.

Me: And what do we say to them?

L---: Dude!

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Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere

Preparation for bedtime includes story time,

Dad: L---, time to clean up. Let's have story time!

L---: Okay, but could you put K---- away?

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At Least He Didn't Ask for Optimus Prime!

At a recent family dinner at a family diner:

Balloons 4 tips lady: Can I make you an animal? How 'bout a bunny, or a tiger, or a puppy?

L---: No thank you. May I please have a Velociraptor?

B4TL: Well, I can make a dinosaur. How about a dinosaur?

L----: Yes, a Velociraptor, please.

B4TL: Well, I can't make a Velociraptor. How about a Stegosaurus?

L----: How about a cheetah, the fastest land animal on the earth? I have a dollar!

B4TL: Okay.

(Optimus courtesy of http://www.balloon-animals.com/gallery/)

Overheard

On a recent trip to the San Diego Zoo:

L---: Those gorillas are chubby!

A---- ( similarly aged girl friend): Those gorillas are pregnant! Mrs. B---, how do gorilla babies come out?

Me: Well, that is a good question. You should ask your Mom.

Her Mom: The same way human babies come out.

A-----: Oh. Okay.

L---: Cool.

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Can We Borrow Someone's Dog?

We are trying to get L--- to play with his little sister K---- more.

Recent exchange witnessed in the front yard:

L--- throws a broken piece of brick (a dinosaur tooth) into the lawn and says to K----, "Fetch, please!"

K---- obliges and picks up the tooth.

L---- says, "Bring it back, please!"

And she does. Nice manners.

Does this count?

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Steven Cojocaru aka Dude.

L: "Why does that guy have long hair like a girl?"

Me: "Well, sometimes men grow their hair long."

L: "Oh. Yeah. And then they are called dudes. You say HEY DUDE!"

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Don't ever let anyone else drive your Volvo.

Pulling into the parking lot at Legoland where Volvo is a title sponsor and provides VERY close parking to Volvo drivers:

Dad: "Oh Wow, L---. We can park our Volvo right here!"

L: "Ddddaaaaaaddddddd! You don't have a Volvo! K---- has a Volvo! You have a penis!

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15 Year Old Boy Bathroom Humor Starts Early

I pooped my poop, Mom!

I'm making funny, funny jokes, Mom!

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Time

Is it going to be my birthday later when I am 5?

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